As I discussed in Mission: Maturity I am on a life-long journey of personal growth. While it may appear that I focus primarily on spiritual growth, I do endeavour to grow emotionally and intellectually as well; though to be honest, my faith does guide and direct all aspects of my life. Although I do not see people as a mission, I am keenly aware that I am on a mission. My life will be well-lived if I have shared the love of Jesus in a meaningful way with the people I “do life” with, though what that means to me may be quite different than what you imagine when reading that phrase.
When I say I want to share the love of Jesus, I am not referring to preaching, evangelizing, or even being a part of a Christian goodwill group, though all of those can be worthwhile pursuits. When I say I want to share Jesus’ love, I mean I want to carry His heart for those around me; I want those I love to feel completely valued and accepted even if their life is a mess.
I had spent probably an unreasonable amount of time lately pondering, am I being intentional enough. Am I stepping out of (or inviting people into) my home to share life? Am I investing in the relationships I already have with friends and family, or am I being neglectful of them? The main question really is: do I need to “have grace for the season I’m in”, or am I being complacent? I understand that my life is full in that I have 5 kids, the oldest approaching the teen years, and the youngest approaching 2; and that these varied stages and the sheer number of kids takes up a lot of my time. But…am I using that as an excuse for my neglect of other valuable relationships? I do realize that relationships require work from both parties and as such I do not hold all the “blame” if I am not interacting enough with my people; I am simply holding my end of the relationship up in the light of evaluation. So, if my mission is to love others as Jesus did, to show them His truth not in hopes of bringing about a conversion but because it is my calling, am I living my mission well?
It is interesting how we can turn a thought over and over in our heads, pretty well beat ourselves up over the thing, and not really come to a solid conclusion. No matter how I thought this one over, I couldn’t decide how to look at it. That is until I fully surrendered it to God. Then, in nearly a whisper I heard it.
Your children are your most important mission.
Ah-ha, yes, of course they are. I mean that’s obvious, and I am certain I have heard it before, probably many times. This time though, as the words entered my head, they bypassed my intellectual side and went straight to my heart. I knew that, but my heart needed to be reminded and encouraged. Yes, I have been on mission, and no I am not way off track.
You see this past fall and winter our family has been through a bit of a storm. Though we knew we would get through, there were some tough and scary times. There were moments when we needed those around us to remind us of who was carrying us through, moments when we needed to just be heard, and moments when we just needed a different point of view. In the midst of this storm there was nothing extra we could give, our resources were, in every sense of the word, being directed into those within our own home. One of our children needed us to commit a great deal to help them through their storm, and we did. As a family we faced the challenge, and with the support of God and those around us, we have made it through the worst of it.
Looking back I can remember feeling overwhelmed; not strong enough for all we were facing. So, was I showing the love of Jesus to anyone outside my family in a real, tangible way? Probably not. I was receiving a lot of love and support, and that is totally okay, because I was pouring as much love and acceptance as I could into someone who needed what only I could give.
Your children are your most important mission.
There is no one on this earth that I need to show Jesus’ love to as much as I need to show it to my own children. I am on a mission to love like Jesus, and the most critically important place for me to do that is in my home, with my kids. No, I am not saying parents should hide out at home and only impact their family.
What I am saying is this: it does not matter one bit if I do countless good works outside of my home; if my children’s do not feel secure in my love for, and acceptance of them I have missed the mark. If my children do not see and feel the love of Jesus through me, and yet I ensure that others do, then I have let them down. I cannot do that.
In all honesty, I cannot say I am there yet. Not day in and day out, in the struggles and the joys. I am closer than I was, but life is a journey. A mission.
My mission is motherhood.
Kyla
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