I believe that our most difficult times are times that define our identity; and I also believe we have the divine privilege of writing that definition. I have determined that although I do not seek hard times, nor am I excited when they seem to seek me, they are of great value. Why? I am absolutely resolute on this: I will get all I can from even the most painful experiences I encounter. If I am able to be the woman I hope to be, the definition written about me would say:
Kyla: One who is determined to grow in all ways; in steadfast faith, in having grace for herself and others, and in joy (in any and all circumstances). Kyla is one who cultivates healthy relationships with those she loves by taking responsibility for her end of the relationship.
Even when it costs me, even when my reputation does not match the truth of who I am, even when I am forced to make hard choices–and even when I mess up–I will not stop choosing to grow towards the above definition.
To be the woman I hope to mature into requires relationship, with others and with God. I must be humble enough to accept seek loving feedback from those around me, to apologize, and to try again. Growth also requires gentle but honest introspection, what was my motive in that action? What triggers me, and why? What do I need… What do I value? What are my goals? And, more importantly, what am I doing to model my values and reach my goals?
I also honestly believe that to be the best version of myself I need to love and accept myself more completely than any other human loves and accepts me. I am only capable of the greatness I actually believe I am capable of achieving. What about when times are hard and it feels like the challenge might break me? What about when I mess up? Well, I can only extend the grace to others that I allow myself. Grace towards myself does not mean allowing myself to be a jerk when hard stuff shows up, but it does mean forgiving myself and calling myself to a higher level when those ugly little moments pop up. It means asking myself “what was that about?” without judgement and condemnation. It means working it out and trying again tomorrow (or later today).
The definition I hope to have written about me, well, I’m not quite there yet. On this side of heaven I may never fully reach that target every day and in every circumstance. To be honest, the definition may even evolve over time; but, I don’t think the core heart of it will change much.
So, if you could write a definition of yourself, what would it say? What steps are you already taking to write it, and what steps need to be taken yet to get there? Are you ready?
Kyla
Leave a Reply