As I witness the full-scale challenges that the current health situation has placed on our society (truly, nearly the entire world), there are several elements and attitudes that concern me far more than the potential impacts on either our healthcare system or our economic stability. One of these concerning elements is the divisiveness of the current situation, and another is the harshness with which we regard the decisions made by those with the burden of making the decisions for our province and nation. I do not write that to suggest that I agree with all the calls being made, I certainly have questioned a lot of them myself.
This past year I have almost felt I had more questions than answers! I have had wondered and worried: Are they doing enough to protect the vulnerable? Why are they closing these particular businesses? Why can I go to Costco but not visit my family with caution? What will the impact of the government assistance programs be (how many generations will it take to pay this back)? How many businesses will close as a result of this prolonged open/shut merry-go-round? This is just a brief glimpse into a few of the questions I have had, the list could go on!
The thing is…I don’t know. I don’t know what the best course of action is, it feels a little like the right decisions were not made in the early days and now we have been in a reactive mode ever since, putting out fires and trying to make decisions with a lack of certainty and clarity. Those in authority did not respond well so they are now stuck in a cycle of reactivity. We as a society are stuck there as well; sniping on the internet about incompetent leaders, participating in acts of civil disobedience that offer no alternative solution that can promise any safer outcome for the whole, and going to war with family and friends. We feel like we are being treated like children and so many of us have moments where we are acting like children. We are so exhausted by this “groundhog day” of a situation. It is so hard. I’m tired. You’re tired. But folks, so are our leaders.
Have you ever faced a situation in your life where you had a seemingly unfair burden of care thrust upon you unexpectedly? A situation you simply did not see coming? Maybe the situation was sudden and unexpected, or maybe there were warning signs you missed, but regardless of the reason you were stuck in reaction rather than the more desirable well-planned response. I am referring to the type of situation where you were the person responsible for making the major decisions but there was no clear path laid out for you; most certainly the path forward was not one well-trod and very few could relate to your experience. There was no one to guide you and though “experts” and well-intentioned advisors eventually surrounded you, there was no clarity as to whose advise was going to bring the greatest chance for success. Perhaps in this situation your choices had the greatest impact on a subset (for instance, one member of your family), but the whole unit felt the ripples and consequences of your decisions. When you are in one of these situations it can feel like you must choose between the “the lesser of two evils”, and that no matter what you do, you lose. You may or may not have faced one of these situations, but I have.
My family is still feeling (and at times reeling) from our family’s personal crisis, our “pandemic response” if you will, and I can safely tell you mistakes were made as we journeyed through our challenges. I can also tell you, as one of the major decision-makers in our family, the burden was at times almost unbearably heavy. Trying to keep someone healthy who seemingly did not care to be, while also trying to keep the other seven family member’s healthy was hard. We had to balance the well-being of the minority with the well-being of the majority, all while battling feelings of failure and judgement (both real and perceived).
I was jointly responsible for the health and well-being of eight people (including myself), with the support and assistance of a team of loved ones and subject matter experts and I can tell you, the burden was heavy. Despite a strong faith and a strong support system, at times I felt so broken and alone. Despite a deep love and desire to grow as a couple, at times our marriage felt precariously weak. Despite all we had going for us, our personal “pandemic response” nearly broke us. Now most of the world is in the grips of a pandemic, and our provincial decision makers are responsible for the well-being of over 4 million Albertans. Our national leaders are responsible for (and to) over 37 million Canadians. Can you imagine the burden of that responsibility? I know I can’t.
I acknowledge that when they ran for office these leaders willingly took responsibility for our lives and livelihoods, much like when I decided to become a mom of six I willingly placed myself in a place of being responsible to eight people (including myself). However, much like I did not anticipate being in my parental role while one of my children faced a mental health struggle, I sincerely doubt our elected officials anticipated that they would face a global pandemic during their term(s) in office.
I write all this to say, grace. Our governments’ decisions have not always made a lot of sense to us. To some they may have made no sense at all. Those in power have made many mistakes. As a parent, I have made numerous mistakes. In the midst of our struggles I was offered advice that simply would not improve our situation by people who did not fully understand what we were dealing with. Grace. Not too many in life set out to do evil. I do not believe any elected official would run for office with the desire to destroy our great province (or nation). While our elected leaders’ decisions may have incredible negative effects on our province (or nation), I cannot agree with the notion or attitude that this is in any way malicious. Those in power are under tremendous pressure, especially now. While it is not wrong for us to desire they make the best decisions, and it is not even wrong for us to voice our dissent, the water-mark for how this is done has been set incredibly low.
The burden of care is heavy enough without carrying the weight of our malicious actions and allegations. If we want to see better from them, perhaps we could behave better towards them. Write a professional letter, start a petition, if you have faith pray for them. We may believe they owe us better, and perhaps they do, but I would propose that perhaps we owe them better as well. Does the golden rule apply anymore? If it does, and I believe it should, we could all stand to behave towards these people as we would desire to have people behave towards us if we were in their position.
Grace.
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