Life is so full, isn’t it? Full of activity. Full of hardship and full of toil. Full of fun, and full of joy. We made the beautiful choice of having a large, uniquely blended family, and as such we have a variety pack of ages and stages being parented simultaneously, along with some extra challenges we were not expecting. On top of the large family, we have a small zoo worth of animals, are the owners of a business (and a few side hustles to boot), and we also both value volunteering, when we’re able!
Life is, full!
The beautiful thing about a life so full is that even in hard times, there is likely something joyful to be found. The challenging thing is that spinning so many plates full of so many things can be a bit tiring when the plates are spinning as expected. Most often, I find that at the end of the day I’m a good kind of tired. So long as I don’t neglect caring for myself and my closest relationships, I truly can count it all as joy. One thing that can add an unpleasant challenge is when multiple hard things build up and then crash down full-force, all at once.
Ever had one of those weeks?
I think that whether your life is full of hustle and bustle, or has a bit of a quieter pace, there are spans of time that are just a little bit harder to handle. When those waves come crashing and your boat gets upended, what keeps you afloat? Healthy relationships and a loving support network are absolutely indispensable, like oars in the boat, but for me, faith brings true power, like a motor. Scripture encourages me, and in fact this one came in my daily reading this week, just by chance:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds…
So, wait, I’m supposed to be HAPPY when hard times come? What kind of insanity is this? Let’s read the next few lines, see if this makes more sense shall we?
…because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)
What do I get from this? Well, over and over the Bible encourages us to give thanks at all times, but if we’re really honest, sometimes it’s pretty hard to be thankful, isn’t it? When storms hit I may want to wallow in self-pity or beg God to toss me a lifeline, to just change the circumstances that are challenging me. The fact of the matter is, while God can rescue and redeem, calm the storms and feed the multitudes, He isn’t a heavenly Santa Claus. He does not exist simply to fill our stockings (bank accounts), and He doesn’t have us on a naughty list, ready to give us coal if we mess up and treasured toys for doing well. Sometimes our circumstances are the outcome of our choices, and sometimes hard things just happen. However, regardless of the reason you’re in a challenging season, and even if God does not change your circumstances, you CAN count it all joy. The fiery trial you are facing can burn you up and destroy you, or it can refine you. Much like certain seeds will not open to produce new trees without a forest fire, we will not come to full maturity if we are continually rescued from the fire.
Can we be really honest and raw for a moment here? Sometimes, no matter how much you want to count it as joy, the fire burns. You suffer loss. You face fear, wondering how long it will go on, how much will be lost. Often, if we’re being real, many tears will be shed as hard choices are made or wounds are suffered. Sometimes it feels there is no right choice, and it is too easy to feel a victim in our own life rather than the victorious main character. I find the easiest way for me to exit the ‘hood (victim-hood that is), is to be really real about how I feel. Address the sadness, the anger, and the fears. As each wave of challenging feelings threatens to overwhelm, I face and handle it. While I sometimes have to set the processing aside for a moment, I do not bury it. Over and over I grieve. Over and over I face and acknowledge my anger, and release forgiveness to whoever wronged me (including myself). Over and over I face my fears, and refuse to give them power. It truly is a battle against my own mind at times.
That may sound discouraging, but the truth is, I have faced an incredible amount of incredibly hard things, and this week another series of waves struck. The combination of things that hit all at once was hard. Had I faced this several years ago, I know I would have faltered and flailed more. I would have been more angry, more reactive, more fearful, and more tearful. As it is, I faced those series of emotional waves, and found my mind trying to answer things it cannot answer. Truth be told, I found this week challenging!
BUT, I CAN count it all joy, because through the numerous challenges I have faced, I have built up something invaluable.
Perseverance.
I can see it in myself, and I have been encouraged by numerous people describing me as one who perseveres, which confirms for me that I am seeing myself acuratey. I am a persevering person. Dylan and I, we have “stick-with-it-ness,” and when one of us falters and doubts, the other is often there with a hand and a hug; we remind each other we can do this.
We can count it all JOY!
Kyla
Lynn says
You are one amazing lady…so blessed to be your friend in Christ. Love you both..
Kyla says
Thank you Lynn, I feel the same about you!
Kim says
Beautifully written. I’m sorry for the storm you’ve been in this week. Accurate – that the suffering produces perseverance. God is so amazing. And the joy… He produces that as well when we surrender to Him, fully trust Him in the chaos, the loss, the unknown, the heartbreaks. In the surrender is when the joy comes. Praying for you sister. Thanks for sharing this word of encouragement.
Kyla says
Thank you so much for sharing your support and prayers Kim <3